The Mentors – “Houses Of The Horny” Cassette (1994)
Here’s another one of those latter-day Mentors tapes that the band put out on their own dime and, once again, the sound quality on some of the tracks isn’t the greatest. But it matters not, as no amount of hissy demo-quality sound can detract from this band’s brilliance. Well, there isn’t much to say about these guys that I haven’t already said, except that this one actually has the full band—not just Dr. Scum and El Duce. I might also add that, aside from the typical stumblebum drunken nonsense found on most of these recordings, Duce appears to be doing some good coke or some other “upper” or happy drug on songs like “Kings Of Sleaze” and “In And Out Of You”. He was definitely on something, but there’s nothing new about that. Musically, it’s the standard Mentors shtick which, of course, means sheer excellence, the standout tracks for me being “Service Me Or Be Smacked”, which is a fine return to their old form, and “Fresh Off The Vine”, an engaging tale of intergenerational romance.
SAMPLE TRACKS:
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Poopy Endorsements 2010
Tutu And The Pirates "Sub-Urban Insult Rock For The Anti/Lectual 1977-1979" LP
Sorry folks, no freebies here! It seems that every year I manage to find a couple new releases that are worth picking up and I figure it can’t hurt to let other people know about them. So am I saying that there are new bands out there that I like? Fuck No! At least not in the Punk/HC genre and probably never will be again, although I am impartial to some newer Metal. Generally, music these days is fucking terrible—these are releases of old stuff. First off, we have Tutu And The Pirates and their long overdue release of “suburban insult rock” from the early days of the Chicago Punk scene. These guys are generally hailed as the first Punk band to come out of Chicago and, happily, they were pretty good, as were many of the Chicago bands from that era, although the less said about what followed later the better. I saw these guys live once, followed by a little chit-chat with the lead singer and the guy was totally hilarious and a true inspiration to my uncooperative, perpetually juvenile ass . So what does it sound like? Picture an entire LP of Cheech and Chong’s “Earache My Eye”! If you enjoy dumbass Punk in the vein of Chainsaw, this will do something for you.
The Mentors "Oblivion Train" b/w "Cornshucker", released on Stool Sample Records.
Secondly, we have an unexpected release my one of my all-time faves, The Mentors. Here we have two early songs recorded in Dr. Scum’s basement in 1977 and, amazingly, it sounds a hell of a lot better than those tapes I’ve been posting here. I was very happy with this and at 500 pressed, you’d better get while the getting’s good if you want this thing. However, the best thing about this release is the band photos on the back, with afros in lieu of black hoods and a much skinnier, albeit inbred-looking El Duce and a Dr. Scum with no glasses. I’m dying to hear the rest of this recording session and I hope this “Stool Sample Records” label remains solvent long enough to release it! And that’s it! Two new releases! Wow.
Youthful Mentors
New Minority – “White, Straight & Proud” CD (1994)
An astute individual, glancing though some of the prior posts, may have noted some of the lowest common denominator cheesy rock and obscure, extremist right wing materials I’ve posted over the last several months. That same person might even be inclined to ask a question like, “Gosh, Mr. Poopy, could it be possible that these two incredibly awesome forms of entertainment be combined into one outstanding super-recording? Oh, please let it be so!” To which I would happily respond, “Yes, my friend. Yes, it is.”
Thus, I present you with New Minority. This was one of the earliest releases on the infamous Resistance Records, possibly in an attempt to draw in a wider audience, however, to say this didn’t sell would be putting it mildly—they couldn’t give the thing away! Basically, they took a (still) existing nightclub Hair Metal band, changed their name, and had them write two politically incorrect (but not “racist” by my definition) songs and filled the rest of the release with your standard Mullet-Metal fare that was popular in the mid-to-late 1980’s, except this came out in 1994! The musicianship and production on this thing is as good as anything you might have seen on MTV in 1986 and the two shit-disturbers (“No Guilt-No Shame”, “White, Straight and Proud”) are absolutely hilarious, albeit unintentionally! But wouldn’t a song like “Rid Of The Bitch” serve to dissuade the Aryan Female from performing the inviolable duty of producing White Babies to serve as future soldiers in the Race War? Just a thought. All that aside, my favorite track would have to be “Friend Or Foe”, a fun, NWOBHM-styled catchy rocker that deserved a better fate than to be lost in this ill-conceived, almost depressing mess of a recording!
I have to admit I had a grisly fascination for the George Burdi era of Resistance. They came out of nowhere, kicking up quite a stink, making their Leftist counterparts look like a bunch of slackers with their professionally run organization, and generally scaring the fuck out of the US and Canadian governments, along with the general public! And the means by which those jokers funded that slick operation remains a matter of conjecture to this day. Looks like they don’t publish the magazine anymore, either. Too bad—I rather miss those “Proud Aryan Women” centerfolds!
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SAMPLE TRACKS:
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Sound Barrier – “Born To Rock” EP (1984)
Well, I was hearing all these Metalheads talking about how badass all those Black Metal bands are, so I finally went out and got me a Black Metal album and what the Hell? Here I was, expecting some kind of crazy Death Metal but, instead, I’m hearing this cheesy glam rock stuff! Or is it “Power Metal”? Either way, I’m never taking any sort of musical advice from a Metalhead again, as those assholes clearly don’t know what the Hell they’re talking about!
OK, I made that up. The truth is I bought this because there was something about the band photo on the back of the record that intrigued me, leading me to believe there was something about these guys that separated them from 99.9% of the Metal Bands in the US, something I couldn’t quite put my finger one but there it was, staring me in the face. Perhaps, it’s the color of their guitars. I looked them up and, apparently, this is their second release put out on their own dime, the first being a major label foray that bombed. Supposedly, they got some airplay on MTV, but I’m fishing the ole memory blanks and drawing a blank, despite the fact that my only real memories of MTV are from the 1983-1986 era. The video is up on YouTube and, yes, I’ve heard of Black Death!
LP Cover
SAMPLE TRACKS:
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El Duce / Dr. Scum – “Musical Pornography” CD (1993)
Well, it’s been a few weeks, but I appear to be back in the saddle, so we’ll get the ball rolling again with another one of my personal faves. I have been a die-hard Mentors fan since I was a kid and, no matter what musical phase I might have been going through, I always had a special place in my heart for this band. Understand that there is a certain point where “fandom” transcends just a love for the music itself, but crosses over into a fanatical appreciation of the musicians themselves—this is how I feel about The Mentors. Granted, just about everything these guys ever wrote was about the same basic subject matter, but that is irrelevant—it is what these individuals stood for and the lives they lead that gives meaning to this music and El Duce did, indeed, live the life. I really miss that guy, but the new Mentors are still pretty good. Honestly, you can barely tell the difference with the hoods on, but I long for the good old days with El Duce on drums and vocals.
So I’m not going to argue that this is the best Mentors album ever made. Some folks would argue that they peaked with “You Axed For It” and “Up The Dose”, but I couldn’t disagree more. Personally, I think their later self-released recordings such as “The Man, The Myth, The Legend” and “Lock Up Yer Daughters” are some of their best stuff, as it catches the band in a more relaxed mode where they are just tossing ideas around. These recordings definitely reflect what was going on during those later years, shortly before El Duce’s death, but I think they were in rare form on this one, despite the regrettable absence of Sickie Wifebeater. El Duce was the most gifted dirty limerick writer to ever walk the face of the earth and, while I suspect he kind of half-made up the words to some of these songs as he went along, he really outdid himself on this one. It truly is some of his finest work and he manages to stay only about half drunk off his ass throughout the recordings, barking, grunting, crooning and moaning music that is truly that of The Gods. Musically, it’s your typical Mentors stuff, with thin production, but this album really works for me insofar as it serves to capture the true ESSENCE of the band, by which I mean a bunch of old drunks singing about being rock stars, denying back stage passes to stuck-up chicks, and being indecisive about which groupie to fuck. Every song on this CD is a masterpiece—every one of them is memorable. Not that there is such a thing as a “bad” Mentors song. Everything these individuals created was brilliant!
Many is the time that these songs found their way into my truck’s CD player only to stay in there for days and sometimes weeks, playing over and over again. I’m not joking.
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SAMPLE TRACKS:
There’s No Shame In What I’m Doin’
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Raunchous Brothers – “Die! Faggot Die!” CDR (200?)
I don’t believe there is such a thing as perfection, but the first three tracks on this demo are about as close to perfection as a Metal band can get, as heard through the ears of Mr. Poopy, at least. Why don’t more bands do this sort of thing? And why do the few bands that attempt it fuck it up and sound like shit? And where is that album they recorded? I’ve been waiting for that thing for years!
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Unfortunately, the other three songs on this thing aren’t nearly as good. “Prick Teasing Bimbo” is kind of lame, the Mentors cover is, of course, good, but it’s a cover, and God knows why they decided to butcher that Sabbath tune! What’s even more frustrating is that they had other songs that were 1,000 times better, hence, I really want to hear that unreleased album! Someone out there has to have a copy of that damn thing! Send a copy to Mr. Poopy and I’ll be your imaginary friend—I’ve waited long enough!
I lived in Chicago for about 11 years and this is the only band I ever found in that town that was worth a shit. Shitcago is kind of a rough town and it always struck me as odd that it would have such a queer-ass Punk / HC scene and lame music scene in general. This band almost redeemed that town and their live shows were great, as well. As an added bonus, I tacked on the tracks from the Anal Cunt split 7″.
SAMPLE TRACK:
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Joe Aufricht – “Mockery & Perversion” Cassette (1995)
If this Blog accomplishes nothing else, it will be that the world will finally get to hear all the Joe Aufricht tapes. Not that the world is dying to hear it mind you, and you may wish you were dead after about ten minutes of this shit! Parts of the “Perversion” side of this tape have been kicking around the web for a while, but now you clowns get to hear the whole thing. Honestly, I couldn’t guess at the number of times I’ve listened to Side One of this tape—I’d definitely say a lot—possibly nearing the triple digits. I kid you not. But I’m not alone in my love of this tape and Mr. Aufricht should take a bow for amusing us far more than we deserve.
I’ll confess I’m a little clumsy at explaining this thing, but what Joe says in the first couple sentences of Side One pretty much sums it up, whether you realize it or not. The uninitiated may listen to this and think they are listening to some guy trying to be weird / offensive / sophomoric and while, indeed, it does sound like that, I can assure you that you are dead wrong to think so. Understand that and clear your mind of all illusions to the contrary. Joe is not joking around on this thing—he is totally serious. Once you have fully grasped that fact, it starts to take on entirely new dimensions and the real fun begins. This thing really smacks you in the back brain and, if it doesn’t, then you are not being honest with yourself or, perhaps, you’re a woman. Realize that this only makes sense to Joe and that it is only meaningful to Joe and that he could care less if it means anything to anybody else but him. If you can’t get through this tape, the other ones below will be even tougher.
Joe also plays guitar in a Black Metal band called Satanicon, despite the fact that he has to be almost fifty years old by now and, no doubt, the mentally fit, rational members of that community are doing wonders for the guy! Hail Satanic Youthfulness!
Inside Cover
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Joe Aufricht – “Youthful Satanic Ecstacy” Cassette (1993)
Here is another of the four Joe Aufricht tapes I own. I believe this was his first one–not like it matters. Did you ever play with a tape recorder when you were a kid, making your own little radio shows, perhaps? Well, I did. It was tons of fun, too. Apparently, Mr. Aufricht enjoyed it, as well. In fact, he like it so much, he figured he’d keep right on doing it up into his early 30’s. In this thing, he is traveling back in time and recreating a period in his life when he was 13-years-old and fell in love with a 9-year-old girl a couple of grades below him. Was there a “target audience” for this stuff, Joe?
Inside Cover
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Joe Aufricht – “Evil Phone Prankster” Cassette (1994)
In this one, Joe is back to the year of 1994 and is no longer 13-years-old. However, he still hasn’t gotten over the 9-year-old he had the hots for, although I gather this story takes place when they are a little older. This is as close as he gets to a straightforward narrative, but it still isn’t easy to get through from start to finish. If one thing stands out immediately, it’s that Joe just doesn’t know when to quit. Seriously. And how does he remember all this shit in such vivid detail? The guy is recalling events that happened 20 years ago, as a child, no less, like it was a couple of days ago, complete with dialogue! I think most people are pretty happy to forget those awkward early teen years, but Joe is completely hung up on them and is determined to re-live them, only getting it right the second time around! This is a tale of insanity and desperate young love, told through the lips of a maniac.
Inside Cover
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Joe Aufricht – “Propaganda Interview” Cassette (1995)
If you managed to get this far, this interview will serve to explain a bit of it at least. Recorded live on WCSB in Cleveland, Joe discusses his church, Satanism, and answers questions from callers.
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Sacred Few – S/T 7″ (1982)
Perhaps this record isn’t as “sacred”, as it is over-hyped and over-priced. Save your pennies and get it here. This is some great, primitive early 80’s Metal, but nothing you haven’t heard before. My copy seems to have slightly different cover art than other copies I’ve seen (it’s missing the logo) and, for some reason, there are two covers folded on top of each other in the sleeve instead of one. These guys were from Cleveland, Ohio and went on to put out an LP that turns up every once in a while.
Rear Cover
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