SPOOKS – “1980-1990″ 7″ EP (1978)
So you’re thumbing through the used bin and you pull out this Punk-looking 45 that was put out in 1978 by Twin / Tone and you say to yourself, “Hmmmmm, this might be interesting—I’ve never heard of these guys.” You fork over your $2, look up the record on the internet when you get home and find next to nothing about them and remark to yourself, “My, well isn’t that odd!” You throw the needle down on the record and a slight sinking feeling hits you when you determine that the correct speed is, in fact, 33 1/3 rpm and you suddenly reflect that all past questions concerning this recording are now answered. You see where I’m going here?
Rear Cover
THE TRACKS (Although half the charm is watching it play and marveling at how long it takes for the tone arm to make its way through this thing!)
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The Mentors – “Houses Of The Horny” Cassette (1994)
Here’s another one of those latter-day Mentors tapes that the band put out on their own dime and, once again, the sound quality on some of the tracks isn’t the greatest. But it matters not, as no amount of hissy demo-quality sound can detract from this band’s brilliance. Well, there isn’t much to say about these guys that I haven’t already said, except that this one actually has the full band—not just Dr. Scum and El Duce. I might also add that, aside from the typical stumblebum drunken nonsense found on most of these recordings, Duce appears to be doing some good coke or some other “upper” or happy drug on songs like “Kings Of Sleaze” and “In And Out Of You”. He was definitely on something, but there’s nothing new about that. Musically, it’s the standard Mentors shtick which, of course, means sheer excellence, the standout tracks for me being “Service Me Or Be Smacked”, which is a fine return to their old form, and “Fresh Off The Vine”, an engaging tale of intergenerational romance.
SAMPLE TRACKS:
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Poopy Endorsements 2010
Tutu And The Pirates "Sub-Urban Insult Rock For The Anti/Lectual 1977-1979" LP
Sorry folks, no freebies here! It seems that every year I manage to find a couple new releases that are worth picking up and I figure it can’t hurt to let other people know about them. So am I saying that there are new bands out there that I like? Fuck No! At least not in the Punk/HC genre and probably never will be again, although I am impartial to some newer Metal. Generally, music these days is fucking terrible—these are releases of old stuff. First off, we have Tutu And The Pirates and their long overdue release of “suburban insult rock” from the early days of the Chicago Punk scene. These guys are generally hailed as the first Punk band to come out of Chicago and, happily, they were pretty good, as were many of the Chicago bands from that era, although the less said about what followed later the better. I saw these guys live once, followed by a little chit-chat with the lead singer and the guy was totally hilarious and a true inspiration to my uncooperative, perpetually juvenile ass . So what does it sound like? Picture an entire LP of Cheech and Chong’s “Earache My Eye”! If you enjoy dumbass Punk in the vein of Chainsaw, this will do something for you.
The Mentors "Oblivion Train" b/w "Cornshucker", released on Stool Sample Records.
Secondly, we have an unexpected release my one of my all-time faves, The Mentors. Here we have two early songs recorded in Dr. Scum’s basement in 1977 and, amazingly, it sounds a hell of a lot better than those tapes I’ve been posting here. I was very happy with this and at 500 pressed, you’d better get while the getting’s good if you want this thing. However, the best thing about this release is the band photos on the back, with afros in lieu of black hoods and a much skinnier, albeit inbred-looking El Duce and a Dr. Scum with no glasses. I’m dying to hear the rest of this recording session and I hope this “Stool Sample Records” label remains solvent long enough to release it! And that’s it! Two new releases! Wow.
Youthful Mentors
The Bizarros – 1st 7″ EP (1976)
So, as a follow-up to the above post, I suppose it can’t hurt to put up the first Bizarros 7”, as well. Released in that not-so-great year of 1976, this thing was way ahead of its time and, yet, doesn’t get talked about much for whatever reason. Again, there is a strong Velvet Underground influence to this stuff, but I forgive them, as they still stand head and shoulders above most bands of the era. Actually, in all fairness to The Velvet Underground, they had some good songs and I have a couple records by them that I play once in a while, however, they suffer from an affliction that I refer to as “Stairway To Heaven Syndrome”, a malady in which a band puts out one lame song that gets overplayed to the point where it becomes so completely annoying that it makes all their other stuff almost unlistenable—even if it’s actually good! In the case of The Velvet Underground, that song would be “Heroin”. I hate it—and so should you!
THE TRACKS (recorded with new software–I think it sounds good!):
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Charlie Burton & The Cutouts – “Is That Charlie Burton Or What?” LP (1982)
Here is the first Charlie Burton LP, released five years and a few more 7”s after the 7” I put up a few posts ago, with a different back-up band. It appears he chose to embrace the rockabilly elements that were starting to show in his first release, but not to where I would call them a “retro” band—they just like to stick to the “roots”. I would describe their sound as a cross between The Blasters and The Dictators, with a slight dash of the KBD-style Punk that midwestern bands were cranking out at the time. Early Eddie and the Hot Rods fans might like this thing, as well. A solid, respectable release that is fun without getting too corny and a little sleazy without getting too nasty, and good enough to lead fans of this sort of thing to make a comment like “wrong place, wrong time”, except, from where I sit, the “right time” for Rock of this caliber would have been pre-1967!
The Band
SAMPLE TRACKS:
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New Minority – “White, Straight & Proud” CD (1994)
An astute individual, glancing though some of the prior posts, may have noted some of the lowest common denominator cheesy rock and obscure, extremist right wing materials I’ve posted over the last several months. That same person might even be inclined to ask a question like, “Gosh, Mr. Poopy, could it be possible that these two incredibly awesome forms of entertainment be combined into one outstanding super-recording? Oh, please let it be so!” To which I would happily respond, “Yes, my friend. Yes, it is.”
Thus, I present you with New Minority. This was one of the earliest releases on the infamous Resistance Records, possibly in an attempt to draw in a wider audience, however, to say this didn’t sell would be putting it mildly—they couldn’t give the thing away! Basically, they took a (still) existing nightclub Hair Metal band, changed their name, and had them write two politically incorrect (but not “racist” by my definition) songs and filled the rest of the release with your standard Mullet-Metal fare that was popular in the mid-to-late 1980’s, except this came out in 1994! The musicianship and production on this thing is as good as anything you might have seen on MTV in 1986 and the two shit-disturbers (“No Guilt-No Shame”, “White, Straight and Proud”) are absolutely hilarious, albeit unintentionally! But wouldn’t a song like “Rid Of The Bitch” serve to dissuade the Aryan Female from performing the inviolable duty of producing White Babies to serve as future soldiers in the Race War? Just a thought. All that aside, my favorite track would have to be “Friend Or Foe”, a fun, NWOBHM-styled catchy rocker that deserved a better fate than to be lost in this ill-conceived, almost depressing mess of a recording!
I have to admit I had a grisly fascination for the George Burdi era of Resistance. They came out of nowhere, kicking up quite a stink, making their Leftist counterparts look like a bunch of slackers with their professionally run organization, and generally scaring the fuck out of the US and Canadian governments, along with the general public! And the means by which those jokers funded that slick operation remains a matter of conjecture to this day. Looks like they don’t publish the magazine anymore, either. Too bad—I rather miss those “Proud Aryan Women” centerfolds!
Insert
SAMPLE TRACKS:
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Charlie Burton And Rock Therapy – “Rock & Roll Behavior / That Boy & My Girl” 7″ (1977)
Undoubtedly the toast of Lincoln, Nebraska, Charlie Burton went on to put out several records over the years. This was his first and, despite it’s release in 1977, isn’t quite Punk, but it’s close and reminds me somewhat of Rokker. As usual, I had no idea what this thing was when I found it, but I was intrigued by the cover art and, at first, I thought it was a bunch of dudes pretending to be drunk, throwing up in five gallon buckets. However, upon closer inspection, I realized they were actually pretending to huff industrial-sized containers of glue, instantly raising this thing a notch or two in my grading criteria. Based on the autographed cover, some guy named “Fred” didn’t get his world rocked by this thing, seeing as I found it in a junk pile, but I think it’s OK. The A-side certainly rocks in a bonehead, head-bopping way to which I am highly impartial, and the flip is decent blues / rockabilly-influenced hard rock. I haven’t heard all their stuff, but it seems like all their material was respectable power poop or hard rock.
THE TRACKS:
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Sound Barrier – “Born To Rock” EP (1984)
Well, I was hearing all these Metalheads talking about how badass all those Black Metal bands are, so I finally went out and got me a Black Metal album and what the Hell? Here I was, expecting some kind of crazy Death Metal but, instead, I’m hearing this cheesy glam rock stuff! Or is it “Power Metal”? Either way, I’m never taking any sort of musical advice from a Metalhead again, as those assholes clearly don’t know what the Hell they’re talking about!
OK, I made that up. The truth is I bought this because there was something about the band photo on the back of the record that intrigued me, leading me to believe there was something about these guys that separated them from 99.9% of the Metal Bands in the US, something I couldn’t quite put my finger one but there it was, staring me in the face. Perhaps, it’s the color of their guitars. I looked them up and, apparently, this is their second release put out on their own dime, the first being a major label foray that bombed. Supposedly, they got some airplay on MTV, but I’m fishing the ole memory blanks and drawing a blank, despite the fact that my only real memories of MTV are from the 1983-1986 era. The video is up on YouTube and, yes, I’ve heard of Black Death!
LP Cover
SAMPLE TRACKS:
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El Duce and Dr. Heathen Scum – “Lock Up Yer Daughters” Cassette (1996)
This is another one of those later Mentors recordings that got put out on the band’s own label and, like the rest of their material, this is little more than pure musical steel, forged by Thor’s mighty hammer, and sent down to earth as a gift from The Gods. This was one of the last things El Duce ever recorded, prior to being brutally slaughtered in his quest for forty-ouncers and sandwiches and, indeed, he really sounds like he has one foot in the grave on this one, slurring his words, drunkenly barking, occasionally forgetting what the song is about and drifting off the subject matter (you can hear Dr. Scum shouting reminders in the background), and mumbling incoherently from time to time. As far as production goes, Bill Metoyer and Brian Slagel are a million miles away on this puppy, but poor sound quality does little to tarnish El Duce’s lyrical genius, expanding his song-writing repertoire to cover such essential topics as women in the workforce (“Why Should I Work When You Do”), monogamy (“Back To The Same Old Hole”), and a touching tale of interracial romance (“Soul Fire”). And, of course, “Gold Diggin’ Maggot” is a fine piece of fatherly advice that should be passed down from father to son throughout the ages.
Pity the fool who can’t see the tragedy and hilarity of the original Mentors. These guys were a class act all around and they simply don’t make ‘em like El Duce anymore. In a world filled to the brim with alcoholics, the man was a DRUNK.
Gold Diggin' Maggot
Insert
SAMPLE TRACKS:
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Mystic Radio Presents Covers – LP (1985)
Like a lot of U.S. Punk fans in the 80’s, I had a fling with Mystic Records, an affection that was strong enough to get me to send money to said label in the hopes of getting some of the records I couldn’t find in the stores. At some point, I managed to get it in my sixteen year-old head that the idea of a bunch of Punk and Hardcore bands doing covers of Classic Rock songs had to be the height of hilarity and wit, so I sent Doug Moody my hard-earned (and scarce) cash to purchase the record you see above. But he didn’t have it in stock for whatever reason (despite the fact that it had recently come out), and he substituted a piece of crap that I didn’t ask for, rather than reimbursing me—a stunt he pulled a couple times. We’ll get into those records later! So the end result was I didn’t get to hear this record until I was twenty-six and, what do you know? The thing wasn’t nearly as hilarious or witty as I thought it would be! Fancy that. But it’s still a good record, with a couple of known bands and your typical entourage of Mystic unknowns. My personal fave would have to be Government Issue’s rendition of “Wild Blood” by The Seeds—not because they do a wild send-up, but because they attempt a note-for-note, deadpan rendition! Stukas Over Bedrock do an interesting interpretation of “Careful With That Axe Eugene” by Pink Floyd, as well.
REAR COVER / TRACK LISTING
SAMPLE TRACKS:
Sado Nation – Back In The Saddle
False Confession – Freedom Of Choice
Stukas Over Bedrock – Careful With That Axe Eugene
Download HERE
Raw Meat – 7″ (19??)
What’s to say about this one? Not much ‘cuz I don’t really know shit about it. A couple old record collector guys I used to know swear it came out in 1972 and that makes sense, but I’ll still place this thing anywhere between 1968 and 1980, as I really have no proof other than hearsay. The style of these songs is in the vein of those Bluesy “Hard Rock” bands that became popular in the late 60’s and early 70’s, however, these guys can’t play for shit and come off sounding like a 2nd rate Canned Heat or Yesterday’s Children, but that just adds to the charm. There is a clumsiness and awkwardness to these two songs that works somehow and the lyrics are weird, with the end result of a garage / Punk sound to the thing. The backing vocals on “Stand-By Girl” around 1:14 are totally retarded, as well, perhaps some of the most ridiculous I have ever heard. The label (Blue Hour) was out of Milwaukee, so I’m guessing that’s where they were from and I’m guessing not too many of these were made. Anyone out there know anything about this band, not to be confused with other bands I am aware of that share the same name?
THE TRACKS:
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El Duce / Dr. Scum – “Musical Pornography” CD (1993)
Well, it’s been a few weeks, but I appear to be back in the saddle, so we’ll get the ball rolling again with another one of my personal faves. I have been a die-hard Mentors fan since I was a kid and, no matter what musical phase I might have been going through, I always had a special place in my heart for this band. Understand that there is a certain point where “fandom” transcends just a love for the music itself, but crosses over into a fanatical appreciation of the musicians themselves—this is how I feel about The Mentors. Granted, just about everything these guys ever wrote was about the same basic subject matter, but that is irrelevant—it is what these individuals stood for and the lives they lead that gives meaning to this music and El Duce did, indeed, live the life. I really miss that guy, but the new Mentors are still pretty good. Honestly, you can barely tell the difference with the hoods on, but I long for the good old days with El Duce on drums and vocals.
So I’m not going to argue that this is the best Mentors album ever made. Some folks would argue that they peaked with “You Axed For It” and “Up The Dose”, but I couldn’t disagree more. Personally, I think their later self-released recordings such as “The Man, The Myth, The Legend” and “Lock Up Yer Daughters” are some of their best stuff, as it catches the band in a more relaxed mode where they are just tossing ideas around. These recordings definitely reflect what was going on during those later years, shortly before El Duce’s death, but I think they were in rare form on this one, despite the regrettable absence of Sickie Wifebeater. El Duce was the most gifted dirty limerick writer to ever walk the face of the earth and, while I suspect he kind of half-made up the words to some of these songs as he went along, he really outdid himself on this one. It truly is some of his finest work and he manages to stay only about half drunk off his ass throughout the recordings, barking, grunting, crooning and moaning music that is truly that of The Gods. Musically, it’s your typical Mentors stuff, with thin production, but this album really works for me insofar as it serves to capture the true ESSENCE of the band, by which I mean a bunch of old drunks singing about being rock stars, denying back stage passes to stuck-up chicks, and being indecisive about which groupie to fuck. Every song on this CD is a masterpiece—every one of them is memorable. Not that there is such a thing as a “bad” Mentors song. Everything these individuals created was brilliant!
Many is the time that these songs found their way into my truck’s CD player only to stay in there for days and sometimes weeks, playing over and over again. I’m not joking.
Insert
SAMPLE TRACKS:
There’s No Shame In What I’m Doin’
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Elmer City Rambling Dogs – “Jam It!” LP (1975)
Another biker band here, sans any “cool” Punk influences—they were at least a year too early for that and I doubt these hicks would have given a fuck, anyway. All the same, this record has its charm and is somewhat obscure, as it was released on an indy label (Dog Dirt Records). What we have here is your basic biker rock, crudely and drunkenly played. The lead singer on some tracks sounds like a barking Jim Morrison, only drunker and sloppier. Great cover art on this one, too and I was kind enough to do a high-resolution scan so you can find the penis mushrooms, pot plants, dog-fucking, bong, dog rolling a joint, etc., etc………
Jam It!
SAMPLE TRACKS:
Download HERE
4/20/2010 UPDATE: The Truth Behind the Dogs (see comments):
“my name is teeny tar and i was lead screamer for the band ELMER CITY RAMBLING DOGS. the article above states we were a biker band. no one in the band drove or owned a bike. the shows we played were biker free. also it says i was drunk. i don’t even drink alcohol. the guitar player james rowland drank only heineken beer but not when we played. the art work was done by my best friend joe rodgers a.k.a MONKO. sadly he passed away a few years ago at age 53 of throat cancer. i do like the article though. i think its wild and funny. i still own two unopened albums and have been offered up to 500 dollars but i won’t sell. i did have 50 c.d.’s recorded and gave to my friends. i stii have 1 cd for me. i don’t know what proof i have. i can say i wrote 8 songs on the album including the three sample tracks. the dog in the window doing doggy-style is the drummer mike mascirelli and his bitch deviette. they are still together living in philadelphia. the dog rolling the joint is guitarist james rowland who lived in elmer, new jersey at the time we got together but now lives in wallingford,pennsylvania. the little dog pissing on the porch is richie ver-el who played fender electric piano and electric fender bass piano. he now lives in gaitherburg, maryland. and me teeny tar i live in lake wales,florida moving here 4 and a half years ago after living in tavernier, florida for 12 and a half years which is located in the beautiful florida keys. keep on doing what you’re doing. rock and roll and rockin’ blooze forever. you got my e-mail if you want to reply.”
Love Is A Heart-On – S/T LP (1970)
Clearly, the Vinyl Gods were smiling on me the day I fished this out of the junk pile some 14 years or so ago. I never tire of this record or the sentiments expressed within. Sure, any shmoe can string together some dirty limericks and crank out tunes about this sort of subject matter, but these guys have class. And Mr. Poopy is all about class. Although the tongue appears to have been planted at least partially in cheek, the songs on this disk are laid down in a fairly serious fashion and it is certainly not a comedy record or even a ”party” record by popular definition. The write-up on the back cover pretty much says it all and the results are pure hilarity. Every song is a winner.
Rear Cover
SAMPLE TRACKS:
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Bunker 84 – “Liberte!” LP (1988)
OK, so I bought this for the cover art. The front cover of this thing boasted some of the crappiest artwork I’ve ever seen—almost as good as the paint-by-numbers Mona Lisa I did at summer camp when I was ten years old. Needless to say, it evoked within me a strong desire to unite with my Aryan Comrades and swear undying fealty to “The Cause”. Look on the back cover and you have four Hollywood Nazis and a Don Johnson stunt double. Musically, Chief Inspector Clouseau is having a really bad day at 33 rpm, while the band churns away at 16 rpm. Lyrically, it’s your standard nationalist stuff sung en Francais. And, no, I’ve never felt the slightest pang of guilt by buying records like this—I have tons of them. “Good” = entertaining to Mr. Poopy. “Bad” = not entertaining to Mr. Poopy.
Down On The Farm!
SAMPLE TRACK:
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Holy Right – “Stand As One” LP (1986)
Another Christian rock LP, I’m sure you’re all dying to hear. One look at the cheesy logo (it could pass for some 7th grade kid’s art project) and the band member’s obvious mastery of 80’s Metal hair and style, and I was whipping out my $1.99. Stryper this shit ain’t—and that’s a good thing! In fact, these guys actually rock and I suspect a couple of them were Iron Maiden fans at some point in time—the lead singer even sounds a bit like Bruce Dickinson. There are no corny ballads on this thing—every song is a heavy power-chord rocker, albeit somewhat cheesy. But Mr. Poopy likes cheese and the fact that these kids appear to be genuinely passionate about what they’re doing really shines through. Give me one Holy Right over 100 fake political hardcore bands any day of the week! And don’t try to tell me you shmoes don’t have guilty pleasures like this! Ha! Pity you, if you don’t!
Holy, Right?
SAMPLE TRACKS:
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Dick Destiny & The Highway Kings – Arrogance LP (1986)
Keeping with the bikers, I offer you the first Dick Destiny LP. Mr. Destiny and crew were a biker band that played around the Allentown, PA area back in the 80’s and 90’s, often having to share the stage with incompatible acts like Ween and assorted college rock crap. This record is heavy guitar rock that pushes the guitars way out front and, for some unfathomable reason, sticks Dick’s vocals in the back. The lyrics on this thing score a solid 11 out of 10 on the Poopy Scale, by which I mean they are retarded, ridiculous and hilarious. For the most part these tunes are pretty stripped down, bordering on Punk, but he would probably kick your ass if you said that to his face. After leaving the band, Dick Destiny went on to become a pretty decent writer and the fact that the man appears to be fairly articulate and intelligent provides me with a sense of relief for some reason.
TRACKS:
07 BLUES HAVE GOT ME BY THE THROAT
10/10/09–Either someone has been bitching at Rapidshare or they simply don’t like that .rar file for some reason. All the tracks are listed above.