Probably my second-favorite of the old Shitcago Punk records, following closely behind the “Haunted Town” EP by The Effigies. Not a clunker in the bunch, although I think “Elephant’s Graveyard” should have been the one to make it to the KBD comps instead of “Context”. Happily, I actually have the picture sleeve for this one, but it’s the crappy Xeroxed one and not the silk-screened one that the collector swine seem to want. To the best of my knowledge, this is the only thing Wax Trax ever put out that’s worth owning.
THE TRACKS:
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So you’re thumbing through the used bin and you pull out this Punk-looking 45 that was put out in 1978 by Twin / Tone and you say to yourself, “Hmmmmm, this might be interesting—I’ve never heard of these guys.” You fork over your $2, look up the record on the internet when you get home and find next to nothing about them and remark to yourself, “My, well isn’t that odd!” You throw the needle down on the record and a slight sinking feeling hits you when you determine that the correct speed is, in fact, 33 1/3 rpm and you suddenly reflect that all past questions concerning this recording are now answered. You see where I’m going here?
Rear Cover
THE TRACKS (Although half the charm is watching it play and marveling at how long it takes for the tone arm to make its way through this thing!)
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This is the only other rock parody LP that MAD ever put out and, if I didn’t know any better, I’d say it is the harder to find of the two. On this record we find the same one-trick pony from the first LP still happily galloping along, showing only slight signs of fatigue and, like the first LP, the recording quality and musicianship is top-notch, putting this record on almost the same level as a legitimate Rock ‘n’ Roll release. The song “Let’s Do The Fink” was later used on one of those “Wavy Gravy”-style comps called “It’s Finking Time” and it is actually one of the better comps of the genre and worth a listen. The song “It’s A Gas” showed up on another weirdo comp of obscure oldies, but the name now eludes me.
The Artists
SAMPLE TRACKS:
I’ll Never Make Fun Of Her Mustache Again
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This is the MAD I grew up with–the last of a now dead breed:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t3OtmcEZ_dU&feature=related
Slackin’ again. Three weeks without a post and I even missed the one-year anniversary of this blog. I originally intended to rush through this thing in a few months when I was unemployed, but it didn’t work out that way. We’ll see how it goes, but I’m a busy guy. Speaking of which, I wasn’t too busy to give some guys who I assume are approximately my own age or older some shit over at another blog. I mean honestly, how many 40+ year-old guys have time to be reading 576 page re-issues of old fanzines, written by a bunch of kids? Not that I’m bashing the kids, mind you, as they might actually find the thing interesting. And how many useless books need to be written about Punk Rock? It just ain’t that fuckin’ interesting after it has been beaten to death 1000 times. You people kill me, but everyone has different priorities, I suppose, however, rather than having me lecture on how us grownups ought to be spending our time, let me suggest that, instead of trying to make me look like an idiot, you try rubbing it in my face how you manage to have so much free time on your hands—I’m inspired by stories about how people became independently wealthy or managed to beat the System.
But it’s not like I don’t love the kiddie stuff. Hell, no! I live for dumbass, juvenile, Punk Rock idiocy—like this ridiculous piece-o-crap. Thing is, I can rip this to my iPod and play it in my car instead of hovering over a turntable spinning the thing. And, trust me, the “scene” isn’t dead—it just sucks. Everything dies and if your best memories are of shit you did when you were 20, you’re doing something wrong, buddy. And if there is ever a time when the world stops churning out smartass teenagers who start stupid bands, just let me know and I’ll just step right up to help fill the void—I’m pretty sure I can still hack it. As for this record, what we have here is some above-average Class of 1983 hardcore with vocals that sound like they were recorded at the wrong speed in parts—and maybe they were! Lyrically, these guys more than adequately meet my lofty standards and I ripped the little booklet that came with it, as well, to share their genius. They appear to have been from Shitcago.
Miss America Sucks
VICTIMZ OF SOCIETY
SAMPLE TRACKS:
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Funny how, after you’ve owned a record for a few decades, it becomes invisible, even when you are looking right at it. I don’t know why I forgot about this one, but it is certainly essential listening and you should be downloading this right now instead of reading. Two tracks from the 1973 LP, recorded with no frills and released in 1972, with a sloppier, more raw sound. Do you need any further endorsement?
THE TRACKS:
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So who said there’s no such thing as good, clean fun? As I said before, humor doesn’t usually stand the test of time but, at almost 50 years old, this LP is still good for a laugh or two and there isn’t a bad song on the disk. They simply don’t make novelty records like this anymore and one has to realize that, at the time of its release, rock ‘n’ roll was still viewed as something of a fad, so the guys at MAD went all out and hired some rockabilly musicians and a couple of real teen crooners to give this thing an authentic feel and, in a way, it almost stands on its own as a solid rock ‘n’ roll LP, despite its novelty status. I was actually a huge fan of MAD as a kid and started reading the magazine when I was six years old and continued to receive the publication for years, long after I outgrew it, simply out of principal, as they were the one hugely popular magazine that didn’t have to resort to using advertising for support and generally stuck to the same gimmick. Then, one day, I was skimming through an issue and found myself puzzled by a full-color Doritos add, trying to figure out what the joke was, only to realize that it wasn’t a joke, but an actual advertisement. My relationship of almost two decades ended shortly thereafter. However, there are worse things a kid could be reading and I assume the traditional messages that things in this life are never quite what they seem, that people rip you off and lie, and that you can expect to have things go wrong still exist in the newer, albeit lamer version of MAD that exists today. Suffice to say, MAD made a huge impression on my malleable, albeit poopy young mind and, apparently, it made an impression on a certain young Kevin (aka G.G.) Allin, as well, leading him to do an excellent send-up of “Nose Job” on the “Eat My Fuc” LP, changing the title to “Blow Jobs”. Bet you didn’t know it was a cover tune! Some really great satire on this one, my favorite being “My Johnny’s Hubcap”, a “Leader Of The Pack” rip-off where the guy’s only earthly remains are a hubcap, that she wears around her neck as a sign of her undying love and, of course, the lyrics to “I Found Her Telephone Number…..” will follow me to my grave!
Teenagers
Rear Cover
SAMPLE TRACKS:
I Found Her Telephone Number….
And for those who never listened to GG Allin: GG Allin – Blow Jobs
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Here’s another one of those latter-day Mentors tapes that the band put out on their own dime and, once again, the sound quality on some of the tracks isn’t the greatest. But it matters not, as no amount of hissy demo-quality sound can detract from this band’s brilliance. Well, there isn’t much to say about these guys that I haven’t already said, except that this one actually has the full band—not just Dr. Scum and El Duce. I might also add that, aside from the typical stumblebum drunken nonsense found on most of these recordings, Duce appears to be doing some good coke or some other “upper” or happy drug on songs like “Kings Of Sleaze” and “In And Out Of You”. He was definitely on something, but there’s nothing new about that. Musically, it’s the standard Mentors shtick which, of course, means sheer excellence, the standout tracks for me being “Service Me Or Be Smacked”, which is a fine return to their old form, and “Fresh Off The Vine”, an engaging tale of intergenerational romance.
SAMPLE TRACKS:
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I’m sure this has been posted elsewhere, but it wouldn’t be right for me not to show some love for this great band. This is actually their second 7”, the first one featured a different singer and, while it’s an OK record, it never rocked my world as much as this one or the LP. This record was their crowning glory in my opinion and the song “Social Reject” wound up on the “Killed By Florida” compilation LP and, indeed, it is a fine little ditty with hilarious, insightful lyrics. My favorite would have to be “Termination”, though, a nice boppin’ Punker in the vein of early Angry Samoans. Stack these guys up right along Roach Egg Invasion for bands that really capture the small town mid-sized city Punk thing.
THE TRACKS:
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Would you believe I finally found a job? After lazing around on Uncle Sam’s dime for a year and a half, I found myself on my very last day of unemployment benefits with no hope in sight, when I got a call from a recruiter I hadn’t talked to in months and had written off as a lost cause. Turns out this company needed a guy with my skills immediately, so I went home, shaved, put on the ole “interview suit”, drove out to the place and, after about two hours of negotiations, walked out with a job and started the next day. So why am I bringing this up? Well, a lot of people are out of work right now, can’t get a job, can’t feed their kids, are losing their homes, etc., and I just want to make sure that people remember that there are powerful, unseen forces working in the world that regulate our existence AND THEY FAVOR ME AND HATE YOU!!! HA!! Naw, I’m just kidding, folks. Mr. Poopy is the friend of all working people—just like Tommy Cash.
This is another concept LP and, while it isn’t nearly as stellar as “The Man Behind The Badge”, it is an entertaining listen. Generally, I’m a sucker for concept LPs—especially when the guy gives a little speech or intro before each song and even more so when he just kind of mumbles it like Tommy does. And, yes, Tommy is Johnny’s brother. Basically, the record attempts to pay tribute to the working people that make America great, although his America appears to leave out doctors, cops, migrant workers, and politicians, among many others. The importance of women in the workforce isn’t lost on him, however, as he has two songs dedicated to working chicks: “The Housewife” and “The Waitress”. Actually, the tale of old Nellie, the waitress, is probably my favorite track. I mean, sure, her grammar sucks and she’s inefficient and screws up the orders, but she’s a good ole gal with a sweet smile and good manners who’ll take a dime for a tip.
Workin' Men
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Tutu And The Pirates "Sub-Urban Insult Rock For The Anti/Lectual 1977-1979" LP
Sorry folks, no freebies here! It seems that every year I manage to find a couple new releases that are worth picking up and I figure it can’t hurt to let other people know about them. So am I saying that there are new bands out there that I like? Fuck No! At least not in the Punk/HC genre and probably never will be again, although I am impartial to some newer Metal. Generally, music these days is fucking terrible—these are releases of old stuff. First off, we have Tutu And The Pirates and their long overdue release of “suburban insult rock” from the early days of the Chicago Punk scene. These guys are generally hailed as the first Punk band to come out of Chicago and, happily, they were pretty good, as were many of the Chicago bands from that era, although the less said about what followed later the better. I saw these guys live once, followed by a little chit-chat with the lead singer and the guy was totally hilarious and a true inspiration to my uncooperative, perpetually juvenile ass . So what does it sound like? Picture an entire LP of Cheech and Chong’s “Earache My Eye”! If you enjoy dumbass Punk in the vein of Chainsaw, this will do something for you.
The Mentors "Oblivion Train" b/w "Cornshucker", released on Stool Sample Records.
Secondly, we have an unexpected release my one of my all-time faves, The Mentors. Here we have two early songs recorded in Dr. Scum’s basement in 1977 and, amazingly, it sounds a hell of a lot better than those tapes I’ve been posting here. I was very happy with this and at 500 pressed, you’d better get while the getting’s good if you want this thing. However, the best thing about this release is the band photos on the back, with afros in lieu of black hoods and a much skinnier, albeit inbred-looking El Duce and a Dr. Scum with no glasses. I’m dying to hear the rest of this recording session and I hope this “Stool Sample Records” label remains solvent long enough to release it! And that’s it! Two new releases! Wow.
Youthful Mentors
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