Cancerous Growth – “Late For The Grave” LP (1985)
I knew a lot of guys who liked this band, but I wasn’t one of them. I honestly can’t remember why—perhaps it was their Grindcore-looking logo and I seem to recall not liking the vocals too much. Well, I was a silly, silly fool because this is a great HC / Punk record, the brilliance of which revealed itself to me in later years. Nothing you haven’t heard before here, but there is a scummy / gritty quality to this band that works for me. The drummer also ran a distro that earned a fair amount of my cash at one time and never ripped me off—a rarity to be sure. No Metal on this record—just ugly Hardcore, the way it was meant to be.
SAMPLE TRACKS:
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Puke, Spit And Guts – “Eat Hot Lead” LP (1980)
Well, Mr. Poopy needs to take a leave of absence, so I’ll leave you with one of the greatest Punk albums ever made. Granted this LP is a little corny in parts but what they lack in tact, they make up for in sheer attitude. Taken in context, it’s easy to see why this bunch of bikers trying to jump on the bandwagon didn’t earn their proper place in history with the rest of the Punkers of their day but, when viewed from the perspective of a listener in 2009, they rank as one of the best. In short, this is offensive crap done for the sheer pleasure of producing offensive crap with no redeeming social value—and this is the way it should be! While they appear to be somewhat dolled up on the LP cover, it is safe to say that these guys were complete degenerates and I mean that in the most complimentary fashion possible, as it really shines through in these tunes. And, if the tunes don’t earn the LP’s place as a masterpiece, get a load of the cover art!
I’m not the first person to write about these guys and, according to some Punk historian (Henry Rollins?), bass player Dick Head tried to beat the shit out of Ian MacKaye after he blew his bass amp when the Teen Idles opened for them at a Mentors gig in California. I stare at the picture of Mr. Head and envision him chasing Ian MacKaye around the parking lot. Too bad he didn’t catch him—and kill him!
Front Cover
Rear Cover
Band
SAMPLE TRACKS:
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Elmer City Rambling Dogs – “Jam It!” LP (1975)
Another biker band here, sans any “cool” Punk influences—they were at least a year too early for that and I doubt these hicks would have given a fuck, anyway. All the same, this record has its charm and is somewhat obscure, as it was released on an indy label (Dog Dirt Records). What we have here is your basic biker rock, crudely and drunkenly played. The lead singer on some tracks sounds like a barking Jim Morrison, only drunker and sloppier. Great cover art on this one, too and I was kind enough to do a high-resolution scan so you can find the penis mushrooms, pot plants, dog-fucking, bong, dog rolling a joint, etc., etc………
Jam It!
SAMPLE TRACKS:
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4/20/2010 UPDATE: The Truth Behind the Dogs (see comments):
“my name is teeny tar and i was lead screamer for the band ELMER CITY RAMBLING DOGS. the article above states we were a biker band. no one in the band drove or owned a bike. the shows we played were biker free. also it says i was drunk. i don’t even drink alcohol. the guitar player james rowland drank only heineken beer but not when we played. the art work was done by my best friend joe rodgers a.k.a MONKO. sadly he passed away a few years ago at age 53 of throat cancer. i do like the article though. i think its wild and funny. i still own two unopened albums and have been offered up to 500 dollars but i won’t sell. i did have 50 c.d.’s recorded and gave to my friends. i stii have 1 cd for me. i don’t know what proof i have. i can say i wrote 8 songs on the album including the three sample tracks. the dog in the window doing doggy-style is the drummer mike mascirelli and his bitch deviette. they are still together living in philadelphia. the dog rolling the joint is guitarist james rowland who lived in elmer, new jersey at the time we got together but now lives in wallingford,pennsylvania. the little dog pissing on the porch is richie ver-el who played fender electric piano and electric fender bass piano. he now lives in gaitherburg, maryland. and me teeny tar i live in lake wales,florida moving here 4 and a half years ago after living in tavernier, florida for 12 and a half years which is located in the beautiful florida keys. keep on doing what you’re doing. rock and roll and rockin’ blooze forever. you got my e-mail if you want to reply.”
Dr. Warren H. Carroll – “America: The Last Crossroads” LP (196?)
This is one of my favorites of this kind of spoken-word LP. If you can’t hear some eerie prophecy on this one, then you simply aren’t paying attention. I guess you could argue that, even if things were a hundred times better than they are now, their would be “X” amount of people concocting theories like this but, all the same, does anyone care to argue that the standard of living has improved over the last forty years?
Rear Cover
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The Victims – “Real Wild Child” LP (1979)
OK, so I’m not going to argue that this LP is better than the EP that people are now paying hundreds of dollars for. It isn’t. However, it isn’t exactly chopped liver by any means and it amazes me that I still find this record gathering dust for as little as $1.99. What the hell is wrong with people? Although this band seems to be rooted in The Dolls, they manage to toss up some great Class of ’77 rockers on this one and, as a whole, the record is pretty solid, insofar as none of the songs suck. Perhaps, my fondness for this LP stems from the general testosterone overload and sexual frustration that comes across here and, with the exception of “Victims Theme”, most every song revolves around chicks. Seriously, kids, next time you see this one lying around, snag it—it’s worth it!
SAMPLE TRACKS:
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The Diodes – S/T LP (1977)
There used to be some law in Canada that stated that “X” amount of music that got played on the radio needed to be Canadian artists, with the result that these guys actually used to get some airplay back in the day, despite an overall lack of commercial success. Did they deserve it? Meh. They were OK. When there was a renewed interest in Canadian Punk a few years back, people started looking for this one and, if you are one of those folks who are still looking, you can get it here and save your pennies. This came out on Columbia, so I’m sure plenty were pressed and I remember seeing it in stores at the mall when I was a kid. There are some decent, upbeat poppy-Punky tracks, but this was a pretty tame release in my opinion, no doubt due to hopes of making the “big time”.
For those of you too young to remember, the song “Child Star” is in reference to Anissa Jones, one of the stars of an idiotic sit-com called “Family Affair”, who died of a drug overdose in her late teens. Ironically, this show was sort of a prototype for “Different Strokes” and, just like “Different Strokes”, most of the cast wound up either getting themselves killed or fucking up their lives later on.
SAMPLE TRACKS:
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Wolfman Jack – “Free Shots” 7″ (1974)
This record was a regional release, put out by the Citizens Alliance for VD Awareness in Chicago, IL. It was never for sale to the general public and I can assume it was only available to community centers, radio stations, and possibly as a free gift to some lucky kids. My copy of this thing is pretty thrashed and I can only hope it was because the previous owner found it as hilarious as I do and played the shit out of it. The flipside features a heart-rending lament of love gone bad by a Miss Debbie Sabusawa.
THE TRACKS:
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Lil Bunnies – “Pee In Yr Ass” 7″ EP (1995)
Man, it almost seems like these guys were trying too hard! Well, maybe not. Maybe there is no such thing when it comes to shit records like this. What we have here is low-fi shit-Punk with assorted toy instruments and weirdo lyrics. Either you like this sort of thing or you don’t, but you have to appreciate the fact that some asshole took the time to hand paint the front covers.
Rear Cover
SAMPLE TRACKS:
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Deprogrammer – S/T LP (1982)
Another forgotten band, released by the always-entertaining Mystic Records. Apparently, these guys moved all the way from Texas to LA for the honor of being on Mystic and engaging the West Coast scene. I can only assume it was short-lived, because no one seems to remember them. This is an “OK” record, not your typical Mystic stuff, but more along the lines of mid-tempo punk, leaning more towards Joy Division and bands of a similar ilk—not that there is anything wrong with that, but it made them a bad fit for what was happening at the time in the US. All in all, this is a pretty good blast from the past that deserved a better fate and is worth a listen.
SAMPLE TRACKS:
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BONE – S/T 7″ (1979)
This was another $0.50 Mr. Poopy special that turned out to be something other than I expected. I bought this record because the band was from Florida and looked like a bunch of cheese-balls in their matching shirts and macho posing. I was anticipating a big, fat slab-o-cheesy crap-rock in the vein of .38 Special or some other 80’s crap, so imagine my surprise when I toss the needle down and find this weird minimalist synth New Wave stuff instead, leaning more towards the Tubeway Army end of the spectrum. Not too bad, really, but these guys are still scrotum.
Rear Cover
THE TRACKS:
Or get it HERE
Love Is A Heart-On – S/T LP (1970)
Clearly, the Vinyl Gods were smiling on me the day I fished this out of the junk pile some 14 years or so ago. I never tire of this record or the sentiments expressed within. Sure, any shmoe can string together some dirty limericks and crank out tunes about this sort of subject matter, but these guys have class. And Mr. Poopy is all about class. Although the tongue appears to have been planted at least partially in cheek, the songs on this disk are laid down in a fairly serious fashion and it is certainly not a comedy record or even a ”party” record by popular definition. The write-up on the back cover pretty much says it all and the results are pure hilarity. Every song is a winner.
Rear Cover
SAMPLE TRACKS:
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