Christ Child – “Hard” LP (1977)
Searching through this blog, it seems clear that I have a thing for “fake” bands, so it wouldn’t be fair to leave out Christ Child. Get a load of the liner notes on the back of the LP—it’s quite the endorsement, indeed, and it’s not like these guys could have possibly listened to a band called Blue Oyster Cult at some point in their lives. Actually, I’ve long suspected a number of those Class of ’77 Punk bands were influenced by the “Tyranny and Mutation” LP, but just didn’t care to admit it! While not quite as stellar as Chainsaw, these guys manage to crank out some gloriously dumbass shit, while trying to sound as badass as they could muster. Of course, they fail miserably, but the results are still pretty hilarious. Some of these tunes have a Class of ’77 sound to them and rock in a bonehead fashion of which I approve but, actually, my favorite track on here would have to be “Star Whores”—not because it’s actually good, but because it’s exceptionally retarded and hard to listen to, with lyrics so macho and dumb they’d make El Duce blush!
Liner Notes
Hard?
SAMPLE TRACKS:
Just for laughs, here’s a couple tracks from Blue Oyster Cult’s “Tyranny and Mutation” LP (1973) for the young whipper-snappers!:
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Charlie Burton & The Cutouts – “Is That Charlie Burton Or What?” LP (1982)
Here is the first Charlie Burton LP, released five years and a few more 7”s after the 7” I put up a few posts ago, with a different back-up band. It appears he chose to embrace the rockabilly elements that were starting to show in his first release, but not to where I would call them a “retro” band—they just like to stick to the “roots”. I would describe their sound as a cross between The Blasters and The Dictators, with a slight dash of the KBD-style Punk that midwestern bands were cranking out at the time. Early Eddie and the Hot Rods fans might like this thing, as well. A solid, respectable release that is fun without getting too corny and a little sleazy without getting too nasty, and good enough to lead fans of this sort of thing to make a comment like “wrong place, wrong time”, except, from where I sit, the “right time” for Rock of this caliber would have been pre-1967!
The Band
SAMPLE TRACKS:
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New Minority – “White, Straight & Proud” CD (1994)
An astute individual, glancing though some of the prior posts, may have noted some of the lowest common denominator cheesy rock and obscure, extremist right wing materials I’ve posted over the last several months. That same person might even be inclined to ask a question like, “Gosh, Mr. Poopy, could it be possible that these two incredibly awesome forms of entertainment be combined into one outstanding super-recording? Oh, please let it be so!” To which I would happily respond, “Yes, my friend. Yes, it is.”
Thus, I present you with New Minority. This was one of the earliest releases on the infamous Resistance Records, possibly in an attempt to draw in a wider audience, however, to say this didn’t sell would be putting it mildly—they couldn’t give the thing away! Basically, they took a (still) existing nightclub Hair Metal band, changed their name, and had them write two politically incorrect (but not “racist” by my definition) songs and filled the rest of the release with your standard Mullet-Metal fare that was popular in the mid-to-late 1980’s, except this came out in 1994! The musicianship and production on this thing is as good as anything you might have seen on MTV in 1986 and the two shit-disturbers (“No Guilt-No Shame”, “White, Straight and Proud”) are absolutely hilarious, albeit unintentionally! But wouldn’t a song like “Rid Of The Bitch” serve to dissuade the Aryan Female from performing the inviolable duty of producing White Babies to serve as future soldiers in the Race War? Just a thought. All that aside, my favorite track would have to be “Friend Or Foe”, a fun, NWOBHM-styled catchy rocker that deserved a better fate than to be lost in this ill-conceived, almost depressing mess of a recording!
I have to admit I had a grisly fascination for the George Burdi era of Resistance. They came out of nowhere, kicking up quite a stink, making their Leftist counterparts look like a bunch of slackers with their professionally run organization, and generally scaring the fuck out of the US and Canadian governments, along with the general public! And the means by which those jokers funded that slick operation remains a matter of conjecture to this day. Looks like they don’t publish the magazine anymore, either. Too bad—I rather miss those “Proud Aryan Women” centerfolds!
Insert
SAMPLE TRACKS:
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C Company – “Battle Hymn Of LT. Calley / Routine Patrol” 7″ (1971)
I’ve found several copies of this record over the years and it isn’t particularly rare, as it shared a label with the much better known and fairly popular Jeanie C. Riley and was also released on LP. Both sides of this 7” are great slabs of Right Wing Americana, done in the talky-sing-y style of Johnny Sea, Red Sovine, and a slew of other Country Western artists of the Fifties and Sixties. So you say you’ve never heard of LT. Calley? Yes, you have. In fact, photos of the My Lai Massacre have graced the covers of hundreds of Lefty Punk and Hardcore records! Of course, the big difference is that C Company (short for Charlie Company) is defending him, while most of those Lefty bands (who probably don’t even know where the pictures came from) would probably crucify the guy! Personally, the whole issue is a little before my time, but my experience is that the government doesn’t let stuff like the My Lai incident leak out to the public unless they want it to. Otherwise, they probably use the pictures for Christmas cards and send them to each other!
THE TRACKS:
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Charlie Burton And Rock Therapy – “Rock & Roll Behavior / That Boy & My Girl” 7″ (1977)
Undoubtedly the toast of Lincoln, Nebraska, Charlie Burton went on to put out several records over the years. This was his first and, despite it’s release in 1977, isn’t quite Punk, but it’s close and reminds me somewhat of Rokker. As usual, I had no idea what this thing was when I found it, but I was intrigued by the cover art and, at first, I thought it was a bunch of dudes pretending to be drunk, throwing up in five gallon buckets. However, upon closer inspection, I realized they were actually pretending to huff industrial-sized containers of glue, instantly raising this thing a notch or two in my grading criteria. Based on the autographed cover, some guy named “Fred” didn’t get his world rocked by this thing, seeing as I found it in a junk pile, but I think it’s OK. The A-side certainly rocks in a bonehead, head-bopping way to which I am highly impartial, and the flip is decent blues / rockabilly-influenced hard rock. I haven’t heard all their stuff, but it seems like all their material was respectable power poop or hard rock.
THE TRACKS:
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Battle Of The Boy Bands Part 1: Old Skull – “Get Outta School” LP (1989)
So which generation had better music? The Sixties Rockers or the Punk Generation? Well, I like them both and possibly lean a little more towards the oldies at this point. So you’re trying to play guitar and your point of reference and ultimate goal is to sound like a bunch of bands that also didn’t know how to play? That’s what we’re looking at now—at least those sixties bands could play and when they were making “noise”, it was actually noise, instead of no-talent, predictable shit. The whole “anyone can do it” thing shot its load for me when I realized that your typical “anyone” has nothing interesting to say. But it’s not like these kids know any better and there’s no better example of not knowing any better than Old Skull, a “band” that, no doubt, would never have existed without a little bit of parental persuasion. But who cares? This record is hilarious! I always loved this thing and, while some squares might argue that it isn’t even music, it’s about as Punk as it gets, despite the fact that it appears to be almost completely contrived. As a personal side note, I have distinct, colorful memories of doing heavy acid when I was about twenty years old and playing this record over and over again for hours. Those were the days.
SAMPLE TRACKS:
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Battle Of The Boy Bands Part 2: The Bantams – “Beware The Bantams” LP (1966)
Yeah, you gotta love kids. They can’t act, they can’t lie very well, they smell funny, and, oh, yes, they can’t sing for shit. So here we have The Bantams, the 1960’s counterpart of Old Skull. So what’s the big difference? Well, notably, the fact that they can play their instruments—or allegedly play their instruments. I’ll admit I’m a little skeptical and will remain so until I actually see a video of them playing. However, they were on Warner Brothers, scored a minor hit, and supposedly did live gigs, so I have to give them the benefit of the doubt. But the singing? Ahem…yeah….not so great. And, unlike Old Skull, they didn’t write their own stuff and the entire LP is all cover songs. Probably a bad argument to support my case for sixties rock, but this is still a great novelty record or a great tool for clearing a room, depending on how you look at it!
THE BANTAMS
LINER NOTES
SAMPLE TRACKS:
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